The Talk: Tackling Tough Conversations with Kids

Last night was sad but gave way for hard conversations and lessons to be learned.

For years, under our deck, we've had a robin's nest. Each year, we all look forward to watching these eggs hatch.

I introduced my 4-year-old daughter to the nest to educate her about how birds lay eggs, build their nests, and wait for their hatchlings by sitting on them and keeping them warm. I also told her not to touch it and the importance of watching from afar. Fast forward to the evening...we have 2 hammocks under the deck, and she was lying in one of them as I was grilling out. Every parent knows about the dangers of THE "silence", so I said, "Evalee, you still lying in the hammock?" The next thing I hear is her saying..."Ugh, oh..ugh..oh, mommy."

WARNING: Sensitive photo:

She tried to look at the eggs herself and knocked the nest onto the ground... busting all the eggs. Of course, my initial reaction was that I wanted to scream at her and tell her that she should have listened to me and was careless with her actions, but instead, I had a hard conversation with her.

I told her we needed to have quiet time to sit. That it was a time to be sad. She said, "Momma, it was an accident." I explained to her that every choice she makes has a consequence. Even though that consequential outcome was accidental, it was a direct effect of her choice.

We talked about how important it is to listen to each other's words. We talked about turning on our listening ears and being thoughtful when making a decision. However, she is only 4 years old and developmentally not fully in control of all of her compulsive behaviors that are led by natural curiosity and her eagerness to explore.

As parents, we must understand to meet the children where they are developmentally.

Of course, she doesn't listen to everything. Not because she doesn't want to, or she is a bad child, but because she's so young. We can start having these conversations early and showcase the cause and effect of choices and the responsibility we have over our actions.

My heart hurt for the robin. My heart hurt for my daughter; she was sad she made the wrong choice. I was sad too. I sat and watched the mother bird sit on the fence and continue to go back to where the nest was. I am sorry, momma bird. My baby bird is still learning.

With Love,

Jessica

Author, Illustrator, and Owner of Little Wildflower Books

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