I was so happy with exciting news
Weeks went by and my stomach grew and grew
I imagined everyday your tiny toes and hands
What about those little cheeks or puckered lips
Where our kisses were going to land
Every anxiety I had about giving birth to you
Flew out the window when I saw your printed 3d view
Hearing your heartbeat through the speaker was music to my ears
The anticipation of meeting you face to face gave me happy tears
I watched my mound of a belly move down and up
I felt the flutter of your kicks and even your hiccups
I carefully started to consider what would be your name
I stocked shelves, assembled the baby bed
And hung up little frames
Tiny boots and socks and an outfit when I’d say
It’s time to go my water broke its delivery day
The time arrived when I was to muster all my strength
But that’s okay because I would have gone to any length
All the pain, sweat, and tears would be worth it in the end
To hold you in my arms would put me on the mend
They suctioned your lungs and I waited to hear your voice
That is when I learned it wasn’t a good time to rejoice
Something was wrong, I knew it just by the nurses expression
I quickly learned a very meaningful lesson
That just because I carried those tiny hands and toes
Didn’t mean I would get to physically take you home
That day you were born with a pair of wings
And a Halo on your crown
I just sobbed and laid there in my hospital gown.
No one tells you about the pain that is worse than child bearing
The day you leave the hospital, with your heart beyond repairing.
One day my little love. One day.
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